I'm on the other side of the transgender spectrum but my heart aches for all the transfems too :[
The game is great, it really made me feel like I was in Iris' shoes! I enjoyed the sound effects a lot and even worried that my speakers were damaged for a moment.
Every time I had the option to correct the pronouns, name or titles, I felt familiar dread and worry for Iris' safety.
I hope Iris got her happy "ending" (as happy as it can be nowadays), and is living a joyous life as a woman.
que jogo incrível, cada texto. cada linha era um facada, mesmo não sendo transfem e sim agereno, mas são coisas que infelizmente acontece. do mesmo jeito jogo incrível a dublagem também incrível
Do you know what hurt the most? "what did we do wrong? did I fail as a parent?" my mom says that-- all the time, over and over it hurts can't she see it hurts? I don't want to hurt her but I can't stop being trans(masc) it's who I am, I've tried fitting into the feminine life, wearing dresses and skirts, long hair and accessories until looking in the mirror made me dizzy
oh and trying to explain to them "Not she, him, I am a man" but I would never say that they would get mad and... awkward and weird... or act like I'm about to lash out or hurt them because of it
I love this game though, explains everything, even the hurtful stuff (sorry if this is trauma dumping? I don't know how trauma dumping works but)
i really enjoyed playing this game. it was honestly kind of comforting and made me feel less alone? (if that makes any sense) while I'm not transfem (I'm transmasc) it was still something I could relate to and it really did capture the awkwardness of not necessarily being "passing" enough to be called by your preferred pronouns without having to tell others and then trying to decide whether you want to correct them or not and have to deal with the awkwardness and looks that come with it. it's such a good game tho and I really did enjoy playing it!
Sorry, there is no transmasc version on account of the fact that at the time I made this game I only wanted to write about my personal experiences. Unfortunately, I did not and still do not feel like I could properly do a transmasc version.
Personally, I think of myself as transfem and nonbinary and the game draws from that experience, so that might be why the game doesn’t seem particularly conclusive about whether or not it is transfem.
As a christian, even if you're transgender. God will still love you, hope you heal soon from the dysphoria! (Remember, if you're a transgender man/woman. You're still considered a man/woman.Don't listen to the transphobics.) - Love, from a sweet demiromantic and ace cis female. <3
Is this what'll happen. If I want to live as myself, just thinking about it makes me never want to come out but at the same time if feel like ill never move past this if I don't. I'm sorry, this game just hit a little too hard even as an egg
It’s rough sometimes, but I am much, much happier these days. It’s nice to be my full, authentic self and the game is unfair in that it doesn’t make an attempt to share any of the positive experiences I’ve had, and there are many of them.
For me, it’s hard to fully describe the change that happened after coming out. I found joy and happiness in places I didn’t expect. I hope you find happiness too, good luck out there. <3
At first this made me upset, but as I continued... I just got angry. I had gotten so, so very angry. This shouldn't happen to anyone, and I'm honestly disgusted that it still is.
this is one of my favourite games on the site, it kinda perfectly describes my experience of gender dysphoria. If I were asked by a friend why I started my transition this game is what I'd send them.
Truly a beautiful game, I found myself in it, only that in my case I don't have the courage to talk about it and I remain uncomfortable in silence while people's words hurt me, having no one by my side. Anyway nice game <3
I am organizing a game festival (called "what's it like to") about empathic video games in Antwerp, Belgium with my non-profit organization and would like to exhibit this game, if that's okay for you. If so, which credits can I add? Who is the designer, etc.? Maybe a link/code to your website or social media if you have any?
Hi there! I’m the designer. You can credit me as “exodrifter” (all lowercase) with a link to exodrifter.space. It would be nice if people at the event know that the game can be played for free here on itch.io or purchased on Steam.
I’m more than happy to have anyone exhibit the game (and I’d love to see pictures of the event too). I hope the event goes well and thanks for playing the game <3
That constant, consistent creeping sense of... Of... I don't even know, it's that strong on me. ...Despite being a little closer to cis than trans, all things considered (Still some speculation over callin' myself Demiboy or not, tbh).
Brave 'uns, y'all trans folk. All of y'all.
- A moderately anxious (& overly disorganized) Bisexual
i've learnt how hard it's like to be a transsexual through this,well,emotionally,i quite look up to these people who have the bravery to act against the God's will.from my point of view ,the body is in possession only of oneself ,and one has the right to define its life and gender, we as friends and relatives defenitely should give more care to these guys.
this game was like several punches in the stomach, but the pain won't go away easily. this is gonna give me quite a bit to think about too. I very much enjoyed this experience (even tho I felt quite sad and hurt while playing), I think more people should definitely play this game. it'd be nice to see more games like this from you.
oooff as a transfeminine person still in the life of my transphobic parents i heavily relate to this- to anybody trans living with their parents who reads this, your freedom doesn't end at being called something you dont want and wearing something you dont want, make good friends who will respect who you are and youll make it <3 best wishes
This series of interactive scenarios resonates with my experiences as a young trans woman. I hope that folks like me are able to see this project and recognize that they're not alone in these moments, that life continues and can improve, and that there are women who share their circumstances, as well as their desire for respect and compassion. Thank you for creating this project, and I wish you well.
I love games with passion like this. its very accurate to me personally, though i am a trans man. thank you for putting hard to describe emotions into sounds and personal experience.
Playing this game as a trans dude was a really interesting experience. Every time someone would use sir or he to refer to the speaker, I'd feel really happy, but then I'd remember this is from the point of view of a transfeminine person. I would have to pause when there was a choice to correct someone, because in most cases if someone referred to me that way I'd be really happy, but I also wanted the speaker to be happy. I don't play a ton of video games, but I really enjoyed this one.
Yeah, giving a way for someone to select the gender of the player character was something I considered, but I ended up deciding not to because I just wanted to express my own experiences, among various reasons. I’m glad you enjoyed it regardless! Thanks for playing <3
this is a powerful message to the world, and i think that its a masterpiece. kudos to you my friend, and to all the strangers who read this too! you got this, and your identity is nobody else's choice. who you are is who you know you are in your soul and spirit, dont let anyone tell you otherwise, whether its about gender or the way you dress or your pronouns. :]
I'm blind it took me 2 years to learn how to use my devices independently. I love gaming but often there's not any or many accessible games I can find and play. I was so happy when I found out there was descriptive audio aka self voicing. I'm non-binary and bisexual and it's hard for me to sometimes explain gender dysphoria. While it's different for everyone this game is really amazing and I'm so glad it's accessible for me too. Keep up the good work!
I have the attention span of a walnut and it's very hard for me to sit down and try out short game experiences, but I am so so glad I stuck it out for this one. It wasn't even sticking it out, I was immediately engaged! Excellent writing, excellent choices in timeline. Excellent use of choices! When it just cut to the courthouse outfit decision, it was a gut punch. Impossible choices, i s2fg. I'm non-binary and my experiences with dysphoria are very different from a lot of what is depicted here, but so so much of it hits the same. I just need to thank you that much more as a fellow trans person for the emotional labor that goes into creating an experience like this.
awesome game! i'm sharing it with irl friends, cis and trans alike <3 take care and thank you!
You’re welcome, and thank you! I’m so happy that the game was engaging for you. And yes, there was quite a bit of emotional labor involved (I originally wanted to have one more arc than I actually did) but I think it worked out c:
Oof, this felt like getting teeth pulled, and I'm cis. I congratulate you for having the courage and artistic boldness to transcribe these expereinces in game form. It's a powerful work.
aww this is so good. At first playing made me uneasy because I'm AFAB but I don't identify that way so some choices didn't feel like the ones I would choose, but looking past it, everything feels really relatable, especially when you tell yourself that it's fine that someone misgendering you because it takes so much effort to explain to someone who you are when you aren't even going to see them again afterward.
And like having to choose between correcting them on your pronouns or your name. I haven't gone to the court to change mine yet, but you did so well writing it out.
Thank you! Yeah, I had considered adding pronoun choices but I didn’t want to make a “character creation” screen however brief for several reasons:
At the time, I only wanted to work on the game over a single weekend.
It would expand the amount of writing I’d have to do (and I’d have to be super careful about not making a mistake and accidentally using the wrong pronoun at the wrong time, which would be particularly bad in this kind of story).
I don’t know about the experiences unique to transgender men, non-binary people, people who reject gender entirely, etc.
So I decided to keep it within my experiences and tell a story about the things I know, though I recognize that there are probably many things people don’t identify with. That being said, I think there are plenty of things people can find relatable and I’m happy that it was like that for you.
Tytytyty, me too, going to court seems really scary, and time-consuming. But it was really cool finding a game that sorta goes through the process. It makes it seem less daunting. <3
I love the non-linear spiral narrative of the story. New facets of scenes we've experienced are revealed slowly, microaggressions compound. It's really smartly written and designed. The sound design and voice acting are incredible. Yes it focuses on negative experiences, but the pacing allowed me to take my time without getting overwhelmed and the sound design coaxed me back into the experience. The game feels both generous and confident in that way. This would make a great series - I'm invested in the character and am rooting for her.
Thank you for your kind words! I am happy that you found the game to be as engaging as I could ever hope for, though I don’t have plans to make this into a series. <3
For anyone struggling with Gender Dysphoria (Trans, Non-Binary, etc.)
You are loved. You are amazing. I love you.
For anyone struggling with Body Dysphoria,
You are beautiful/handsome. I love you so much.
I know I'm a stranger on a screen, but I do. We're never going to meet (maybe) but I do love you. Keep being amazing, and shining as bright as you can! Keep walking with your chin up. Eat some good food, and binge watch a good show. Take some time for yourself. I don't wanna sound cliche, but just do it. <3
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I'm on the other side of the transgender spectrum but my heart aches for all the transfems too :[
The game is great, it really made me feel like I was in Iris' shoes! I enjoyed the sound effects a lot and even worried that my speakers were damaged for a moment.
Every time I had the option to correct the pronouns, name or titles, I felt familiar dread and worry for Iris' safety.
I hope Iris got her happy "ending" (as happy as it can be nowadays), and is living a joyous life as a woman.
thank you for playing, I am happy that you were able to connect with Iris <3
que jogo incrível, cada texto. cada linha era um facada, mesmo não sendo transfem e sim agereno, mas são coisas que infelizmente acontece. do mesmo jeito jogo incrível a dublagem também incrível
thank you for playing and for your kind comments
obrigado por jogar e pelos seus comentários gentis
as someone who just came out as mtf trans close to a month ago this hits home on so many levels ty for sharing this game with the world
you’re welcome, thank you for your kind words <3
The difference between the internal voice and external made me tear up- bc that's really how it is
I’m so glad you noticed that detail. Thank you so much for playing <3
that's why I use the shortened name candi for candice since it's not too feminine or masculine
nice! glad that works out for you.
thanks but some people still ur my old name though at school "/
i’m sorry to hear that :c
Do you know what hurt the most?
"what did we do wrong? did I fail as a parent?"
my mom says that-- all the time, over and over it hurts
can't she see it hurts?
I don't want to hurt her but I can't stop being trans(masc) it's who I am, I've tried fitting into the feminine life, wearing dresses and skirts, long hair and accessories until looking in the mirror made me dizzy
oh and trying to explain to them "Not she, him, I am a man"
but I would never say that they would get mad and... awkward and weird... or act like I'm about to lash out or hurt them because of it
I love this game though, explains everything, even the hurtful stuff (sorry if this is trauma dumping? I don't know how trauma dumping works but)
me neither. but, thank you so much for sharing your experience, i appreciate it <3
mood
yeah
i really enjoyed playing this game. it was honestly kind of comforting and made me feel less alone? (if that makes any sense) while I'm not transfem (I'm transmasc) it was still something I could relate to and it really did capture the awkwardness of not necessarily being "passing" enough to be called by your preferred pronouns without having to tell others and then trying to decide whether you want to correct them or not and have to deal with the awkwardness and looks that come with it. it's such a good game tho and I really did enjoy playing it!
(I'm a rambler, I'm so sorry- 😭)
thanks for rambling, i’m glad you enjoyed the game c:
this is amazing! you definitely captured it, in the UK it is easier to change name, did realise the drama it was in the states.
thank you, i appreciate it! i hope things get better for all of us.
This is really awkward. Good job.
ty <3
this is really well made; everything, from the voice acting to the story telling aspect
Thank you, I really appreciate it <3
Is this transfem or transmasc. It seems transfem and I'm wondering if there is a transmasc version?
Sorry, there is no transmasc version on account of the fact that at the time I made this game I only wanted to write about my personal experiences. Unfortunately, I did not and still do not feel like I could properly do a transmasc version.
Personally, I think of myself as transfem and nonbinary and the game draws from that experience, so that might be why the game doesn’t seem particularly conclusive about whether or not it is transfem.
Ah, alright! Have a good day!
As a christian, even if you're transgender. God will still love you, hope you heal soon from the dysphoria! (Remember, if you're a transgender man/woman. You're still considered a man/woman.Don't listen to the transphobics.) - Love, from a sweet demiromantic and ace cis female. <3
Thank you for your kind words. I appreciate it <3
Hi fellow demiromantic and ace!! :D
Forgot to mention, this is an old comment. I'm cupioromantic and uranic now. ^^
Is this what'll happen. If I want to live as myself, just thinking about it makes me never want to come out but at the same time if feel like ill never move past this if I don't. I'm sorry, this game just hit a little too hard even as an egg
It’s rough sometimes, but I am much, much happier these days. It’s nice to be my full, authentic self and the game is unfair in that it doesn’t make an attempt to share any of the positive experiences I’ve had, and there are many of them.
For me, it’s hard to fully describe the change that happened after coming out. I found joy and happiness in places I didn’t expect. I hope you find happiness too, good luck out there. <3
It's good. Great execution! (:
Thank you, I appreciate it <3
At first this made me upset, but as I continued... I just got angry. I had gotten so, so very angry. This shouldn't happen to anyone, and I'm honestly disgusted that it still is.
I wish things were better too. Thanks for getting angry on our behalf <3
thank you so much for this game.. it reminds me that i'm not alone in this experience
you’re welcome, thank you for playing <3
Damn this hit hard and for real, being transgender this felt way too relatable and i honestly felt anxious when playing this
10/10 :]
i’m glad it was relatable, thanks for playing <3
im not even transgender or anything but this was cool
thank you, i’m glad you liked it!
this is one of my favourite games on the site, it kinda perfectly describes my experience of gender dysphoria. If I were asked by a friend why I started my transition this game is what I'd send them.
I’m happy to hear it’s one of your favorites! I hope your transition is going well and thanks for your kind words <3
This is my girlfriends name, I love her so much this made me emotional.
It’s a good name. Thank you for sharing <3
Truly a beautiful game, I found myself in it, only that in my case I don't have the courage to talk about it and I remain uncomfortable in silence while people's words hurt me, having no one by my side. Anyway nice game <3
Thank you, I’m glad you enjoyed the experience <3
I hope you find someone to stand by your side.
I am organizing a game festival (called "what's it like to") about empathic video games in Antwerp, Belgium with my non-profit organization and would like to exhibit this game, if that's okay for you. If so, which credits can I add? Who is the designer, etc.? Maybe a link/code to your website or social media if you have any?
Great game!
Hi there! I’m the designer. You can credit me as “exodrifter” (all lowercase) with a link to exodrifter.space. It would be nice if people at the event know that the game can be played for free here on itch.io or purchased on Steam.
I’m more than happy to have anyone exhibit the game (and I’d love to see pictures of the event too). I hope the event goes well and thanks for playing the game <3
I will definitely send you some pictures of the event (which takes place 23-24 september). Thank you for answering so quickly!
Hi there (again)! Can I have your email purhaps? I want to ask you something about this festival we're organizing. Thank you!
Jesus CHRIST, that hurt!!!
...Not in a bad way, per se, but still!
That constant, consistent creeping sense of... Of... I don't even know, it's that strong on me. ...Despite being a little closer to cis than trans, all things considered (Still some speculation over callin' myself Demiboy or not, tbh).
Brave 'uns, y'all trans folk. All of y'all.
- A moderately anxious (& overly disorganized) Bisexual
Thank you, and thanks for playing. I’m happy to hear what you though of the game.
aw man this hurts. but in a cathartic way. it's definitely something i'll be coming back to. thanks for the great game
I’m glad you found it cathartic, and you’re welcome. <3
this game was amazing i can tell you put so much work and emotion to it!!
thank you so much, i’m glad you enjoyed it <3
Of course!!
i've learnt how hard it's like to be a transsexual through this,well,emotionally,i quite look up to these people who have the bravery to act against the God's will.from my point of view ,the body is in possession only of oneself ,and one has the right to define its life and gender, we as friends and relatives defenitely should give more care to these guys.
Thank you for playing and the support you express, I am happy it was a worthwhile experience for you.
this game was like several punches in the stomach, but the pain won't go away easily. this is gonna give me quite a bit to think about too. I very much enjoyed this experience (even tho I felt quite sad and hurt while playing), I think more people should definitely play this game. it'd be nice to see more games like this from you.
Thank you, I hope I can do so again <3
Have you ever played and read the warning knowing damn well it's you but you just don't listen
I hope you are doing okay.
I'm alright I guess but to be honest I can relate to this game except I'm trans and gay so I'm a dude. :)
oooff as a transfeminine person still in the life of my transphobic parents i heavily relate to this- to anybody trans living with their parents who reads this, your freedom doesn't end at being called something you dont want and wearing something you dont want, make good friends who will respect who you are and youll make it <3 best wishes
thanks for your kind words, best wishes for you and everyone else as well <3
This series of interactive scenarios resonates with my experiences as a young trans woman. I hope that folks like me are able to see this project and recognize that they're not alone in these moments, that life continues and can improve, and that there are women who share their circumstances, as well as their desire for respect and compassion. Thank you for creating this project, and I wish you well.
Thank you for playing and the well wishes <3
I love games with passion like this. its very accurate to me personally, though i am a trans man. thank you for putting hard to describe emotions into sounds and personal experience.
and thank you for the font choices!
You are welcome! I am glad the work resonated with you and that the font choice was useful <3
Playing this game as a trans dude was a really interesting experience. Every time someone would use sir or he to refer to the speaker, I'd feel really happy, but then I'd remember this is from the point of view of a transfeminine person. I would have to pause when there was a choice to correct someone, because in most cases if someone referred to me that way I'd be really happy, but I also wanted the speaker to be happy. I don't play a ton of video games, but I really enjoyed this one.
Yeah, giving a way for someone to select the gender of the player character was something I considered, but I ended up deciding not to because I just wanted to express my own experiences, among various reasons. I’m glad you enjoyed it regardless! Thanks for playing <3
this is a powerful message to the world, and i think that its a masterpiece. kudos to you my friend, and to all the strangers who read this too! you got this, and your identity is nobody else's choice. who you are is who you know you are in your soul and spirit, dont let anyone tell you otherwise, whether its about gender or the way you dress or your pronouns. :]
Thank you for your kind words, and thank you for playing! <3
I'm blind it took me 2 years to learn how to use my devices independently. I love gaming but often there's not any or many accessible games I can find and play. I was so happy when I found out there was descriptive audio aka self voicing. I'm non-binary and bisexual and it's hard for me to sometimes explain gender dysphoria. While it's different for everyone this game is really amazing and I'm so glad it's accessible for me too. Keep up the good work!
I’m very happy you were able to play the game! Thanks for the well wishes and of course, thank you for playing <3
Thank you for making your game inclusive and accessible. The game was amazing!
I have the attention span of a walnut and it's very hard for me to sit down and try out short game experiences, but I am so so glad I stuck it out for this one. It wasn't even sticking it out, I was immediately engaged! Excellent writing, excellent choices in timeline. Excellent use of choices! When it just cut to the courthouse outfit decision, it was a gut punch. Impossible choices, i s2fg. I'm non-binary and my experiences with dysphoria are very different from a lot of what is depicted here, but so so much of it hits the same. I just need to thank you that much more as a fellow trans person for the emotional labor that goes into creating an experience like this.
awesome game! i'm sharing it with irl friends, cis and trans alike <3 take care and thank you!
You’re welcome, and thank you! I’m so happy that the game was engaging for you. And yes, there was quite a bit of emotional labor involved (I originally wanted to have one more arc than I actually did) but I think it worked out c:
I hope your friends enjoy it too!
Oof, this felt like getting teeth pulled, and I'm cis. I congratulate you for having the courage and artistic boldness to transcribe these expereinces in game form. It's a powerful work.
I’m glad you had a good experience with the game, and thank you for your kind comments <3
aww this is so good. At first playing made me uneasy because I'm AFAB but I don't identify that way so some choices didn't feel like the ones I would choose, but looking past it, everything feels really relatable, especially when you tell yourself that it's fine that someone misgendering you because it takes so much effort to explain to someone who you are when you aren't even going to see them again afterward.
And like having to choose between correcting them on your pronouns or your name. I haven't gone to the court to change mine yet, but you did so well writing it out.
Thank you! Yeah, I had considered adding pronoun choices but I didn’t want to make a “character creation” screen however brief for several reasons:
So I decided to keep it within my experiences and tell a story about the things I know, though I recognize that there are probably many things people don’t identify with. That being said, I think there are plenty of things people can find relatable and I’m happy that it was like that for you.
I hope your name change goes smoothly <3
Tytytyty, me too, going to court seems really scary, and time-consuming. But it was really cool finding a game that sorta goes through the process. It makes it seem less daunting. <3
I love the non-linear spiral narrative of the story. New facets of scenes we've experienced are revealed slowly, microaggressions compound. It's really smartly written and designed. The sound design and voice acting are incredible. Yes it focuses on negative experiences, but the pacing allowed me to take my time without getting overwhelmed and the sound design coaxed me back into the experience. The game feels both generous and confident in that way. This would make a great series - I'm invested in the character and am rooting for her.
Thank you for your kind words! I am happy that you found the game to be as engaging as I could ever hope for, though I don’t have plans to make this into a series. <3
For anyone struggling with Gender Dysphoria (Trans, Non-Binary, etc.)
You are loved. You are amazing. I love you.
For anyone struggling with Body Dysphoria,
You are beautiful/handsome. I love you so much.
I know I'm a stranger on a screen, but I do. We're never going to meet (maybe) but I do love you. Keep being amazing, and shining as bright as you can! Keep walking with your chin up. Eat some good food, and binge watch a good show. Take some time for yourself. I don't wanna sound cliche, but just do it. <3